I’m feeling…

Conflicted and confused, yet self assured and encouraged

It’s all in perspective

If I’m feeling stressed, every little thing will set me off

And I feel like the world is collapsing down around me

One domino at a time, crumbling in ways I can’t stop

Yet at times I can feel on top of the world

Realizing the scope of everything going right

Focusing on the positive things said

Not the worthless fast p.o.s. ones

Reminding myself of the calm fuzzy feelings

Not the knife in my heart I can’t breathe ones

Thinking of gratitude for all that’s brought into my life

Not the hopeless frustration of things I don’t have

I want to bottle that feeling

That one where your whole body is so calm

Your thoughts at peace

And you can feel the air around you

Just clinging to you, grasping,

Trying to get you to stay in that moment

That moment that can’t be bottled

And once it’s gone, it’s only a fleeting memory

Of what was…but more importantly…what can be again.

Those moments come more frequently if I let them

Although they are still so unfamiliar

I have hope that one day those moments I want to bottle

Will once again outnumber those moments I want to smash, burn and destroy.

Hope. I have found it.

And I will hold on, until it’s in abundance once again.

 

look for this poem in the recently published book:  http://www.amazon.ca/Womans-Write-Strong-Poetry-Womankind/dp/1469732572/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1337628908&sr=8-2

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