The resemblance was uncanny
So badly I wanted to go with my initial instinct
And lean into how irresistibly attractive he was

But I kept pausing

Yes, he was stunningly attractive
Those eyes that drew you in
Innocent and mischievous all at the same time
The coy playful smile
The contagious laughter

Falling for the same “type” so many times
My initial instinct still says “YES!”
Until I catch my breath, remembering the sting
The years of pain that followed
Him thinking I’d moved on so quickly
Jumped in bed with the next conquest
When really that was only him that could do that

Years later I’m still holding myself back
From anyone who even remotely looks like him
My heart remembers the hurt
My brain says nope, we aren’t going there again
The cells of my body almost completely replaced now
So not a spot of my skin will he have touched

The comfort of solitude far outweighs
The desire to risk and try for feelings again
I almost didn’t make it out that last time
It’s not worth going there again

The resemblance is uncanny
But why do I punish these others
Myself included
For a mistake he’s long moved on from
I deserve new happiness too
He has continued his hurtful manipulative ways to others
I have focused and healed and learned

It’s time to trust myself again
Closing the chapter
So I can read, write, create
All the new stories I’m meant for

Written from a prompt in a creative writing group I facilitate. You can check it out and request to join us here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/213087289131266/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT