When I reach into thin air
And wish there was someone there
To help me with this searing pain inside
To comfort some of this loneliness
To lend a simple hug when I need it
But I realize I must be strong on my own
As I’ve always known
For others are busy with their lives
Or they simply cannot cope
With hearing what I’m saying
They cannot hear the words that form
In the spaces between us
The growing gaps that may as well be
The Niagara Gorge
For I feel like I’m falling over the edge
And drowning
No type rope balancing fear defying act here
I’m caving into my fears and staring death in the face
And some days she seems mighty welcoming with her bargains
The pension packages she offers are quite attractive and hard to resist
But I’m here another day
For how long I’m not sure
Until my strength wears out
And I can no longer pour my blood and hurt
Into these words on the page
I pick myself up and try to dust myself off
Try to stand on weak legs
Without my knees collapsing
My voice shaking, my heart breaking
I really don’t know how much of this I can keep on taking
But I have to keep trying
Because I really don’t know any different yet
Looking searching pleading for motivation
The answers have to be somewhere
I have to keep trying because I don’t know any different yet
Maybe one day I will know different
But that day hasn’t come
Yet.

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