I do not want to begin where you left off
A tiny pink rose
A small splash of pink paint
Colour on your nails to hide behind
Not showing your burdens to the world
Pain searing those close to you
Leaving a legacy of those missing you
Except those who knew you best
Those closest to you having wounds to work through
To heal their burdens of the soul
No pretty colourful paint can mask that pain
The cross ending the pain unfaithfully
Buried deeper than your coffin
Lay memories hidden invisibly
Behind layers so deep even the barer was unaware
They were there
Until one fateful day when the earth shook them free
That earthquake brought to the surface a mighty pain
And the clouds turned dark that day
The pink happy smiles covered in age old blood
Thankful there was none to spill except the ink on the page
Because mother, there would have been pools greater than my tears if you were here
But alone I was to suffer and be strong
10 years after you were gone, buried dead
Today you would have been 55, and I think
You would have been so pissed at getting older
So pissed at how this world turned out
Fuck, you couldn’t even cope with the internet
And the world moved on without you
I moved on without you
I needed to move on without you
Stronger and better off
People say they miss you
Everyone deserves to be missed by someone after they’re gone
And I’m glad you are. By them.
Because as much as there are memories I miss,
I know that’s not who you evolved to
So I don’t miss the person you became
Because I know you didn’t have it in you to get better.
Some people just don’t.
And that’s ok. You aren’t here anymore.
I am. And I’ve moved on without you.
I hope my kids are just like me.
Strong and curious about the world
And not willing to be beaten down by bitterness
I will not let it win like you did
I will not be like you
I will continue to move on without you.

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