As my heart rips open, scared and alone
Fear quickly takes advantage and settles in
“Finally! You’ve cracked and let me in,” it says
While love shivers in the cold shadows
Broken down, blind to the light that surrounds me
I let the darkness wrap me like a familiar blanket
Lashing out to anyone who dare try shine a light
Although deep down that’s all I really want
Love hangs on, never too far away
Even though I’m suffocating
It pumps me with whatever oxygen it can
Searing pain in my heart
The blackness wraps me tighter
Isolating me alone is its best weapon
It knows how to keep me trapped
Taking away hope with every painful breath
Scared, alone, convincing me that’s reality
And the hope, love, success, light has all been merely an illusion
Trapped in the cycle of darkness
Forgetting more and more what the light, the love,
Truly felt like and meant
Convincing myself I never truly deserved that anyway
It’s best I don’t stay in that delusion
But deep down I’ve come too far
The tools are too ingrained in me now
Love whispers, “You know you can, just hang on.”
The icy chill makes me pull the blanket of darkness
Tighter around me
But from the inside out, I feel the warmth
That spot deep in my chest, where my courage lives
It’s warming me up, expanding the light
Love whispers, “You got this, you’re stronger than the darkness,
You don’t need to give up and let it win.
Just focus on the light, the light will lead the way.”
The darkness realizes it’s losing me
And fights harder, pulling out all the stops
Memories like a slide show, consume my vision
And I close my eyes, and focus on the internal love
A war wages inside
“I don’t have the strength for this,” I say pleading, crying, screaming
Ready to give up.
Love pushes me a little harder toward the tools I know
Grabbing on to them like a life preserver, I panic
I don’t want to die
But the darkness tells me I do
Love reminds me there’s still so much to be done
The light that shines in me,
Can light that inside others too
But I must keep shining
I must not drown
I must accept love and reach out for my life preserver
I cannot do this alone
Luckily, I am reminded the darkness is wrong
I am not alone. I do not need to be alone.
It is my choice and I can step out of fear
And embrace the love that is abundant all around me
Today I choose love. Today I choose life.
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