As I sit with the book of my life, I feel so lost in thought
Many pages I do not want to look at
Many pages don’t feel like they belong in this book
But one very different, very separate
I see tattered ones, and ones that look so rough
They are barely still attached to the binding
I see tear stains on them
Salt marks leaving deeper, more telling stories than the words that are scratched on the pages
There are unfinished sentences
Bold scribbles tearing the pages in anger
It just feels like this journey should have ended in these pages
There is so much pulling me to stay on them, stuck, engulfed by the words
But they are just words
But words to a writer are everything
But they aren’t
Words and events of the past, only remain present if we let them
They are not my moment
I need to turn the page
For there are many more words waiting to be read
Many more waiting to be written
I notice there are many blank pages at the back of my book
They are all waiting to be written
If my story had ended in those tattered pages
These blank ones would never realize their full purpose
Pages are meant to be written on
Happy words
Sad words
Troubled words
Glad words
Expressing my heart, my soul
Sharing my thoughts
Even if it’s only with myself and the universe
Which can be the most powerful communication of all
As I sit in front of the book of my life
I realize I must honour these blank pages
And fill them with adventures and learning
With all my heart is drawn to
I will live my life so it writes the book for me
An honest adventure story of all that’s meant to be
My story isn’t over yet
It’s just beginning the best chapter yet

written December 13, 2016

precursor written March 13, 2016