As I took that first step, I hesitated
Did I really want to join the party?
There were so many people
And really I’d rather curl up with a book and a cup of tea
I paused at the threshold
I could hear the loud music inside
The kind you have to shout over to talk to the person next to you
Who thought of this party culture anyway?
Probably an extrovert
I took a step backwards, contemplating the book and tea more
When I was spotted
Ungracefully my friend shouted to me
People turned and looked at me
Now I could turn and run…
I could always turn and run
But instead I stepped toward the crowd
I was welcomed with a hug and a nice to see you, glad you could make it out
Nice to be here, wouldn’t miss it, my expected replies on autopilot
I don’t know what I’m saying
Or why I didn’t run

Maybe I spend too much time running
And not enough time standing still
Planning my first steps better
Hanging out at the threshold will get me nowhere though
Eventually I need to take the first step
My life has been waiting
What has been waiting?
This party? Hardly. I doubt they’d even notice if I hadn’t shown up
But what else haven’t I shown up for?
What else has passed me by?
Maybe I will meet my new best friend in this room
Or my next lover, or business partner
Maybe I will laugh and have the time of my life, de-stressing in joy
Maybe I will learn something new or visit vicariously a new vacation spot
Maybe if I start showing up for life more
Life will show up for me
And things I never even dreamed of will have a chance of happening
All because I took that first step
And showed up

Afterall the book and tea will be there later too
I don’t have to say no to cozy time
But maybe I can say yes to life a little more too
Living the width as well as the length of it
Making each step count
Enjoying the moments and magic
That is there waiting
Like fireflies that light up the night
My dreams light up my life
With each new first step I take

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