19 years now, out of my life longer than she lived in it. Moving on but never forgetting my mother, no matter how angry I may get sometimes. I’m grateful to the people who have shown me what real love and caring is about, and taught me unconditional love and kindness ❤️

March 21 Memories

It’s been a fortnight of years and my head doesn’t feel more clear
I still struggle as I did then, gaps and blackouts clouding the path I’m trying to take
Pain marring the journey and plaguing the healing
Tearing the wounds open as they seem to make progress
Like skips on a vinyl record, interrupting the flow of the song
I can’t keep my rhythm going and dance smoothly with life
Even from the grave, all these years later, you trip up my step, no matter how I try to keep waltzing
Memories plague and persist on throwing in the cha cha where the song doesn’t call for that tempo
It never called for that tempo, yet you changed the record to suit you every time anyway
I’m done dancing to your old worn out tune, I never liked your music as much anyway
It’s time we updated it with some of my rock, I’m playing my mp3 now that you never even knew
Times change even when you never wanted to
Poignant your death, with today’s increasingly rapid society, you never would have kept up
The millennium changed and buried you with it
Now I just need to bury your memory and hurt with those cassette tapes and records in the past where they belong
And stop carrying their burden in my life, because these days I dance to a different tune
One you would have never learned how to play anyway

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