Don’t touch me
I’ve done things I said I wouldn’t do again
My head has gone places I said I wouldn’t go again
I can’t do this
Don’t touch me
I’ve cried tears of pain
Of love
Of caring
Of hurt
I’ve felt breathless from anger and fear
I’ve gone to the depths of sadness I vowed to never return
And yet here I am again
But why am I not running
My heels should be on fire
But they aren’t
Instead there are enough pills inside to numb and enduce a slumber
To awaken to a new dawn
With new eyes and a new outlook
And maybe new memories
So I can swallow a new breath
And carry on this life
Without running
Enduring the pain without memory
Without fear and anger
And let you touch me
Without pulling away
Thinking it will all just be the same again
That everything is destined to be the same again
And I’m better off putting the dagger in my chest myself
Because at least then I have some sense of control
In a situation so senseless and out of control
Where all I want to do is die
I sigh and all I want to do is die