When I opened the new book of the year
I was excited
I could feel the energy radiating from it with all the potential
I was filled with hopes and dreams and ideas
I couldn’t write them all down fast enough
My writing was scattered
Sentences unfinished
Words incoherent in places
But excited energy filled every word
Until it couldn’t

When the writing came to a dead stop
I stopped
The words wouldn’t flow
Tears soaked the page
Darkness filled where there was light
And I stopped
I knew I had to keep going
I couldn’t keep stopping
Because I might not start again

Feeling overwhelmed with a sense of loss
A void inside I couldn’t fill
So the darkness took care of that for me
It filled every corner
It took everything over
All I could see was the blackness all around
I let the tears fall
I let them shake my body
I let them release all the pain and despair
Until I stopped

I had let it all go
Everything that was eating me from inside
The handcuffs no longer shackled me
But the marks from them remained
The place I didn’t need to go again
Knowing it was my choice
I looked up and let the light of the full moon
Fill the blackness

The light touched every corner of my being
While my heart still had a hurt hangover
It was beginning to feel lighter
Laughter and love were the bandaids
With friendship I can heal
I can find the song of my heart
I can remember the familiar tune
Those I love sing it back to me
Until I feel the strength back
To sing it to myself
I will sing it soon again
Sing it at the top of my lungs
And I will be ready with my song
If the blackness comes calling again

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